Recluse

I spent a period of my life as a recluse

consumed by a sadistic self hatred

I couldn’t see the point in going out

society didn’t want me blotting it’s landscape

my parents became very angry

a mask for sympathy or shame?

probably both.

their beloved son not reaping the rewards

that a twenty one year old should be.

every parent wants their child to be happy

free

and fucking 

I had every cliché going.

terrible poetry

although some might say that hasn’t changed.

lost all interest in sex

which kills a man’s purpose.

wished death upon myself every night

obviously, it never came.

I pestered doctors for help

they could offer me nothing

I had to rely on my own determination

something which had brought me little before

this time it was serious though

and it paid off

a man losing his freedom is a real tragedy

finding it again is beautiful

lines drawn are erased

new ones put down

women return

life blooms.